Jesus Mummy

Me: "How was Sunday School?"

Alice: "Great! We learned all about when Jesus died! He died on a cross and then, after, they prepared his body. They took out his organs and put them in jars and then they got a hook and took out his brain through his nose!"

Me: (long pause) "Did they tell you that in Sunday School?"

Alice: "Yeah! They really did that, Mom! Remember? We read it in that book."

Me: (the lightbulb coming on) "Alice, Jesus wasn't a mummy. They didn't take out his organs or his brain. You're thinking about the ancient Egyptians."

Alice: (greatly disappointed) "Oh."

Me: "Also, this is probably another one of those things you shouldn't talk about at school. I mean, you can talk about mummies and you can talk about Jesus, but you probably shouldn't talk about Jesus being a mummy...."

Alice: "Why?"

Me: (weighing the pros and cons of trying to explain the dark side of Southern religious culture -again- and deciding against it.) "Well, because it's just not true and you might confuse some people."

Alice: "Oh. Okay. But can I just pretend that Jesus was a mummy, you know, by myself?"

Me: "Absolutely."

This led to another very interesting conversation about what she plans to do with my body when I die. No cremation for me, apparently!

Note to self: next year we should not study ancient cultures during Lent.