Speck of Dust

Did you see I changed the blog title???

Did you guess why???

(I bet you did...)

With the grace of God, we will have an addition to our family this October.

Speck of Dust is no longer as small as a speck of dust - it is more olive sized. The name came to be when Alice guessed that I was pregnant very soon after I found out. We had wished to keep the news from her longer, but when she guessed we saw no reason to try to cover things up. My early pregnancies are rather involved - bi-weekly doctors appointments and a regimen of too many pills and daily injections. This time, too, I have been incredibly sick. I think it was less stressful for Alice to deal with the uncertainty that accompanies early pregnancy than to see me be so ill and wonder what was going on. When she first found out, she wanted to know how big the baby was. I told her it was no bigger than a speck of dust. The name stuck.

I will not lie - this has not been an easy road. I've already been on bedrest once and have instructions to take it easy as much as possible. I have developed hyperemesis gravidarum, which is basically morning sickness with 'roid rage. If I'm lucky I can eat lunch. Otherwise I drink fruit juice slushes to try to stay hydrated. Everywhere I go I make sure I know where the bathroom is just in case I need to throw up. I have two medicines to take for the nausea / vomiting and they have worked just well enough to keep me out of the hospital (yay!) but not well enough to keep me from being miserable. So many people have commented to me that they are happy that I am sick and that I should be grateful.... I am, but at the same time I'm weary of feeling awful. I joked with a friend that I should shout "PRAISE JESUS!" every time I throw up.

Today was my 10 week ultrasound. (Although, I am 11-1/2 weeks now...) It was crazy. We saw the baby dancing around and sucking its thumb. After so many losses it is hard to describe the feeling when something goes right.