Me: Ugh. I feel sick...

Alice: Did you take a Secretariat? You should really take a Secretariat. Or maybe 1/2 a Secretariat.

(I'm taking zofran and phenergan for nausea. They are definitely not horse pills...)

____________


Me: Did you know the baby is getting fingerprints this week?

A: Really? Wow..... What if it doesn't get fingerprints?

Me: Um. I guess it wouldn't be able to pick things up very easily.

A: Well, Daddy has arches on his fingerprints but you and I have whorls on ours. I wonder what Speck of Dust will have..... What if it has ALIEN fingerprints?!?!

Me: (trying to figure out how the heck she knows what kinds of fingerprints we all have) Huh?

A: You know, aliens??? Like, from outer space??? I'm going to be really mad if Speck of Dust has alien fingerprints.

Me: okay... Why?

A: (looking at me like I'm an idiot) Because I want alien fingerprints.

Oma, Jamie and Ogie

WG has surrounded herself with a community of imaginary friends. I'm thinking this might be hereditary since I had quite the menagerie when I was little: boy-girl twins named Nogie and Eggroll, a dog named Ginger, and a whole flock of sheep. WG's imaginary friends are all people, sort of.

Oma was the first to make an appearance. Oma is devious. Most of the time she is mean to WG. She is seven feet tall (since I've never seen her this is a guess, but she is "taller than Uncle Neil" so 7 ft is probably about right.), has yellow eyes and wild hair that changes color daily. She lives in China, which happens to be around the corner from our house. Oma rides a scooter and, on our recent trip to Ohio, followed us the whole way. Oma has been put in jail for "making bad choices," speared with a sword (by our neighbor), and thrown out the car window (by me).

Jamie is another regular around our house. Jamie is a girl, but she is always referred to as "he" because, as WG puts it, "sometimes girls are boys." Yes, WG has a transgendered imaginary friend. Who also happens to share a name with my mother. Jamie is nice. We don't mind when Jamie comes to visit.

Ogie stops by once in awhile. Ogie is from elbowland.

Today was WG's first day of Kindergarten. I completely forgot to warn the teacher about Oma, Jamie and Ogie. It will be interesting to see if anyone went with her.

4 going on 14

(In the car on the way home from the hardware store.)

WG: I need a ride to Aiden's house tomorrow morning at 6:45.

Parents: ?

WG: We have rehearsal.

Parents: ?

WG: He has a band and he asked me to be in it with him.

Parents: ?!.... 6:45 is awfully early, WG.

WG: But we have a gig. Aiden said so.

Parents: !.... What do you play in the band?

WG: Music. That's what bands play. (I could feel her eyes rolling at my stupid question.)

Parents: No, what instrument? Or do you sing?

WG: I sing AND play the violin.

Parents: And what does Aiden do?

WG: He's the drummer.


WG did not get to go to Aiden's house. I don't know where he lives or what his last name is. WG was NOT happy with me. She told me I was breaking up the band.

The worm doctor is in!

WG's favorite thing to do outside is to search for worms in the garden. She has wanted to be a worm doctor for quite awhile, and is very happy that spring is here along with the worms. Unfortunately she loves her patients a little too much and a little too hard and most end up in a better place than our garden. Here she is with her latest patient:

When lunch lasts too long...

WG (waving a small plastic toy sheep around, finally landing it on the kitchen table where it hops around): "This is Francoise. He's a sheep. He can be a little bit demanding sometimes. He eats our food like this: yomp yomp yomp yomp."